Elder Mediation – Who Gets The Ball Rolling And Why?

Elder Law is simply that area of law which focuses on issues that affect us as we age. These issues include Estate Planning, Planning for Incapacity, Representation Agreements, Powers of Attorney and elder care. You can visit our Elder Law website for detailed information on these topics at www.okanaganelderlaw.com. This article is about a process known as Elder Mediation.

Most people think of mediation as a process for resolving disputes. It can also be used for facilitating planning issues that involve several family members, usually elderly parents and adult children. It can be difficult for family members to talk about end of life planning, independent living, the distribution of an estate and even the division of labour. Common scenarios that can cause a rift in a family might be when one adult child lives close to an aging parent and ends up assuming the greater responsibility for their care. Maybe the issue is a parent who is struggling to live independently but doesn’t want help. Sometimes a parent wants to talk to their adult children about end of life issues and estate planning but doesn’t know where to start.

Elder Mediation allows you to use a neutral, independent third party to pose the difficult questions and guide the parties through a discussion that is thorough, respectful and productive. Mediators do not impose decisions on the parties. A mediator must remain neutral and lawyers who act as mediators will not give legal advice but can provide legal information and draft agreements that reflect the decisions made at mediation. A lawyer/mediator can also advise the parties when they might need independent legal advice. A mediator will ensure that each person is heard and that the relevant issues are addressed and a plan is put in place.

The process for Elder Mediation starts with a call to a mediator. Here at FH&P I am a lawyer and mediator with Mediate BC. The first step is to determine that you have issues capable of being resolved through mediation. The next step is to determine who should be at the mediation – that could include caregivers, close friends, other professionals as well as family members. If there are issues of abuse, undue influence or dementia those need to be addressed up front. A separate conversation is held with each participant to prepare them and to find out what they hope to resolve through mediation, and to answer any concerns or questions. The mediation itself is a group meeting which is facilitated by the mediator. Mediators may also meet with the parties separately as the mediation progresses. The results are put into writing.

Mediators usually charge by the hour. The fee should be discussed up front. The starting point is usually that the fee is shared equally unless another arrangement is made.

Elder Mediation is about bringing together a group of people who care about each other and want the best for each other.

If you have questions about Elder Mediation you can have a free consultation by calling me at 250 762-4222.